Monday, 1 August 2011

The Enemy

This weekend I was lucky enough to be invited to a really great friend of mine's Hen Party. All in all there were 20 girls and the theme was LBD (little black dress) with the assumption everyone owns one (except me!) and it would make the day cheaper without the cost of buying something new to wear. The bride to be wore white to stand out from the group. So, here's a bit of insight - I HATE girly occasions when there is a theme like this - or worse, fancy dress - I am so not confident with my figure and I stressed for weeks over finding my perfect LBD. The criteria was tough, elbow length sleeves and a minimum of to-the-knee length.

After weeks of searching, and some false leads (damn you Next and your fast fashion!), I settled on a simple ruffle detailed jersey dress from Matalan, at £14 with 10% Student Discount I couldn't have hoped to find something more purse friendly. I knew though that I would need heels to lengthen my heavy set legs - and this is where the real problems began.

Not wanting to part with any more cash, I decided to take stock of my current heels. I eventually settled on a pair of 70s / 80s style stilettos, the style name of which is aptly titled 'Blondie', undoubtedly Debbie Harry WILL have rocked a pair of these at some point in her career! I knew that shoes were skyscrapers with heels at least 4 inches tall, but talking to the rest of the girls, everyone was wearing heels and the 'secret' was going to be Party Feet - you know, those gel things you put under the ball of your feet in your shoes to stop the burning sensation.

I not only bought party feet I also got heel cushions and to be quite honest, as I stepped out with my St. Tropez tan, freshly washed and blow dried hair, full face of make up I felt pretty amazing and even more amazing, I felt comfortable...

This lasted the bus journey to York. Until we had to walk to the first bar. I swear to you now, after around a half hour the pain was excrutiating - and the injury story kept on unfolding.

My mortal and eternal enemies
My balls were so painful I had to totally remove my shoes (said with tongue in cheek!), one girl had cuts across her toes and the bride-to-be had the reddest feet I have seen, right where her foot met her shoe.

Miraculously ALL of the other girls kept going. I couldn't stand it, I took off my shoes and I walked the streets of York barefoot for a couple of hours until the swelling of my tendons became entirely unbearable. I literally couldn't bend my toes and I was close to tears - I was miserable and so, rather than waiting for the minibus, I went and caught the train. After a weekend of footsoaks and massage and Ibugel I am still in agony. I am dreading work tomorrow I have no idea what I am going to wear on my feet - are flip flops office attire?! Seriously, how the other girls aren't in hospital with the pain after lasting another 4 hours after me I'll never know. My heels truly ruined a great day out.

Today I made the decision. I am going to gather all of my heels and sell them on eBay and then I am going to buy myself one pair of low-ish and comfortable heels (I don't care how long it takes me to find them or how much they cost) that I will take care of and keep for special occasions.

The rest of the time, it's flats for me, all the way!

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